Hope Dies Last

Today, I’m having a Bad Greece Day.

These days don’t happen too often but when they do I find myself silently questioning the decision I made to move back here. These bad days usually happen more often during the summer months. I’m not a summer person and summer in Greece lasts a kajillion years. Tempers flare, older men and adolescent boys smell. On good Greece days, I’m happy to be here. I watch the absolute chaos with fascination. On bad Greece days, I want to throw my toys around and tell everyone else to basically  “Grow the fuck up.”

Yesterday, for example, as I approached my parked car the car parked in front of me reversed, crashed into me and was getting ready to drive off. I ran after him and almost flew my body on his body while screaming, “What the hell are you doing?”

He jumped out and his first response was, “What? Don’t tell me you haven’t done the same thing?”

I looked at him in shock while he continued.

“Don’t tell me you have never bumped a car while trying to get out of a parking space? Answer me. You have, haven’t you?”

I looked at him with an expression that I am sure was brimming over with disgust and said,

“First of all, I’ve never been caught. Second of all, bumping the car behind you is only acceptable when you have NO OTHER WAY OF GETTING OUT OF THE PARKING SPACE. Look at the space in front of you.”

My hand gestured to the obscenely large parking space his tiny car had previously occupied.

“I don’t care. You’ve done it, I’ve done it. There’s nothing we can do it about it.” he said as he began climbing back into his car; having seemingly decided on his own that this spat was over.

I swallowed my anger, for a moment and replied calmly:

“You know, we could all be better people. ”

He all but gave me the finger.

I probably deserved it; if only for that fact that you can’t exactly reason narcissism with schmaltzy.

Regardless, his attitude, his conclusion that because parking spaces are hard to come by in Athens this gives him the right to crash into my car and not apologize for his behaviour because oh everyone does it .

This the reason that on Bad Greece Days I think that this country will never change and it just might not be the one for me.

Answer me this. Do you ever have bad days? Please tell me I’m not the only one and that Greece is not that special.

P.S Also, a huge, huge, huge thank you for all comments about your love of flying. Each time I feel a little nervous I go back and re-read them all.  I’ll be sure to do this until the day I leave.

Yesterday was a bad day. Yesterday was one of those days were you fail to see all that you have and all that you do do. In honour of today and feeling a lot better, I finally decided to complete The Perfect Meme that I saw over at Brandy’s a couple of weeks ago.

The perfect outfit

It depends on the time of year and the occasion. In summer, my perfect outfit are always dresses; whether its my bright, floral maxi dress or a shorter emerald green dress. I love that all I need to do is slip them on. No mess, no fuss. That is the reason that my perfect outfit in winter is a pair of jeans, boots,  a sweater and a pretty scarf. I may be high mainteneance emotionally, but I’m a pretty low maintenance kind of girl.

The perfect meal

I have began to really despise food questions. (I’m looking at you Crohn’s Disease!) I guess at this point, anything that doesn’t make my intestines squirm is a winner!

The perfect hangover cure

I haven’t had a hangover since April of 2002. True story. This has mainly to do with the fact that I stopped drinking then started again but always knew my limit and then stopped again. So, best hangover cure ala Hope, just drink in moderation to begin with. It may not be sexy, fun or rock ‘n roll– but its true.

The perfect road trip

A couple of years ago, three friends and I jumped into an Audi A3 and hit the road. I don’t remember the music, I don’t remember the journey, I don’t recall the  topics of conversation. All I remember is the constant laughing. That’s my perfect road trip.

The perfect facial feature

While a smile would be on my top 3 perfect facial features. Nothing beats those expressions of complete shock. The ones with raised eyebrows and mouths shaped in an O. Those make me giggle.

The perfect drink

An iced chai latte. Yum-ee.

The perfect song

Anna Begins| Counting Crows

Chasing Cars | Snow Patrol

Say Goodnight & Go | Imogen Heap

Hallelujah | Jeff Buckley

The perfect sign of affection

A guiding hand at the small of my back.

The perfect afternoon

Napping with the one you love. In my case, Diego.

The perfect vacation

While I do love those sightseeing vacations especially in European cities with cobblestone pavements and good food (Hi Barcelona! Hi Florence!) I do also pretty much adore the standrad Greek Island vacation. These usually follow the same schedule everyday. Breakfast time-Beach time-Lunch time-Nap time-Walk time-Dinner time-Card games on a balcony time/Drink time.

The perfect invention

Hair straighteners.

The perfect type of wedding

Intimate, late morning, early Autumn

The perfect album

The Killers| Hot Fuss

The perfect accent

First place, British.

Second place, Spanish.

Third place, Irish.

The perfect date

The kind that never end. A quick coffee turns to a long walk, a long walk turn to lunch followed by drinks followed by dinner.

The perfect weather

Crisp, sunny winter mornings. Cool, summer evenings.

The perfect party

Eclectic mix of people. BBQ. A pool. Candles. The Rizla Game.

The perfect sport

Football.

The perfect thing to say

I have given this so much thought my brain hurts. This dialogue between Josh and Donna  from The West Wing pretty much sums it up for me.

Josh: You know, if you were in an accident I wouldn’t stop for a beer.

Donna: If you were in an accident, I wouldn’t stop for red lights.

The perfect day of the week

Monday because  I’m a morning person. And Monday, well Monday is like the morning of the week.

…I give the Death Stare to any driver who dares get in my way.

…Extra Virgin Olive Oil is the only kind of oil I have ever known. 

…I take naps between 3pm and 5 pm on most days. 

…I adore tragedies

…I wear my emotions in the same way I wear my earrings. Over the top and proportionately bigger than anything else on my body.

…I speak and argue and fight  in exactly the same decibel. (i.e LOUDLY!)  

…I have a strict wax appointment every three weeks

…I have the number of my neighbourhood souvlaki joint on speed dial

…I roll my r’s

…the minimum amount of time I will spend over one coffee is 2 hours

A new year cannot really feel like a new year until the previous year has been dissected, right? So in a nutshell, this was my year. 

1. What did you do in 2008 that you’d never done before?

A guy on the second date. 

2. Did you keep your new year’s resolutions, and will you make more for next year?

I do not recall making any resolutions last year. This year I’ve decided to make a list of small goals I want to achieve each month. 

3. Did anyone close to you give birth?

Nope. But, my sister is pregnant again! 

4. Did anyone close to you die?

No but people I am close to lost people they were close to. 

5. What countries did you visit?

Zero. This makes me sad.

6. What would you like to have in 2009 that you lacked in 2008?

A social life.

7. What dates from 2008 will remain etched upon your memory and why?

January 20st. You can read all about it here.

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?

Quiting my job and cigarettes.

9. What was your biggest failure?

Starting the cigarettes again. 

10. Did you suffer illness or injury?

Yes. I refer you to this post and this post. 

11. What was the best thing you bought?

The Complete West Wing Box Set.  

12. Whose behaviour merited celebration?

My nephew’s. Each time he entered a room he was applauded. Each time he made a new sentence-ish six ‘bravo’s’ exploded around him. Just yesterday he used the superlative ‘bigger’ and this merited a scream, a hug and an Eskimo kiss from me. 

13. Whose behaviour made you appalled and depressed?

All the citizens of Greece that threw rocks at buildings and burned public and private property.  

14. Where did most of your money go?

To doctors. For both physical and mental ailments. 

15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?

Most of the things I got really, really, really excited about this year were potentials, hypotheticals if you will. Take for example: Barack Obama and the entire US election. I was far more excited about what could happen if he was elected than the moment it became official. Or like how the ‘relationship’ I had with The Man in my head was ten times better than the actual experience. Or how Real made my heart a-flutter when he wasn’t there.  

Perhaps, my expectations are too high? 

16. What song will always remind of you 2008?

My Mistakes Were Made For You| The Last Shadow Puppets

17. Compared to this time last year, are:

a)happier or sadder?

b)thinner or fatter?

c) richer or poorer?

Sadder, thinner and poorer. 

18. What do you wish you’d done more of?

More acting. 

19. What do you wish you’d done less of?

Less thinking.

20. Did you fall in love in 2008?

No, no I didn’t. [So we're now entering Year Six of Hope's Hopeless Love Life for anyone left counting.] 

21. What was your favourite TV program?

New Show: Life on Mars

Old Show: Grey’s Anatomy. 

22. Do you hate anyone now that you didn’t hate this time last year?

Hate is such a strong word. But the writer’s of Grey’s Anatomy really pissed me off this year regarding the whole Return of Denny Fiasco. 

23. What was the best book you read?

Don’t Move | Margaret Mazzantini

24. What was your greatest musical discovery?

The Kings of Leon

25. What did you want and get?

I wanted a pet and I got one in the form of crazylovely Diego. 

26. What did you want and not get?

*Cough*Boyfriend*Cough*

27. What was your favourite film of this year?

There was no film that really resonated with me this year. The Dark Knight left me wanting, Sex and the City made me want to gorge my ears out with all the adolescent shrieks and Burn After Reading was just OK. (Although, I desperately loved George Clooney in it.)

28. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?

I drank some beer, laughed, blew out candles and wore shoes that hurt. I turned 27. 

29. How you would describe your personal fashion concept in 2008?

The older I get the closer I get to dressing the way I wanted to in high school. In fashion terms that would probably mean I’m only 20 kilos and 40 absurd outfits away from resembling Mary Kate and Ashley Olsen. 

30. What kept you sane?

My mother, my sister, my brother-in-law and my brother. 

31. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?

Jon Stewart. 

32. Who did you miss?

The Best Friend, my Sister From Another Mother and The Man. 

33. Who was the best new person you met?

Hit myself over the head, spit on my neck, step in a piece of poo because the truth is? Real. Fuckity fuck fuck. 

34. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2008. 

Make sure to remove all racy undergarments from car before having it washed. 

35. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year. 

To the Universe: ”You ask me to enter, but then you make me crawl.” U2 | One

About ten years ago, The Best Friend and I were in downtown Athens shopping on Ermou Street. 

We had spent about an hour inside  Zara in our own bubble of giggles while trying on clothing.  As we exited the store we took a left and came face to face with ten police officers in riot gear. Apparently, protesters were marching in the streets about one thing or the other and we had very nearly landed in the middle of it. If you have not been close enough to see your reflection in a riot police’s head gear then you haven’t lived in Athens long enough. 

Protests and strikes are just part of an ordinary day in Athens. There is always something that will make someone want to don their finest and hit the streets with placards screaming for whatever it is that has erred them that day. But in all my years in Greece nothing has ever come close to the violence that I watched on television last night. 

The riots that took place over the weekend and that are expected to continue today were instigated by the tragic killing of a 15 year old boy by a police officer. 

Was the police officer provoked? Was the boy in the wrong place at the wrong time? Were the youths attacking the police officers? Did the police officer open direct fire or did his warning shots ricochet off the ground and accidentally kill the boy? 

Despite spending all of yesterday following both local and international news reports I am still uncertain of the circumstances surrounding this tragedy. There seems to be absolutely no consensus on the events that unfolded on Saturday night. Perhaps I will never know.

But what I do know is that a life was unfairly cut short.  

What I do know is that the lives of two families has now been shattered; the family that is dealing with the loss of child and the family whose husband, father, son has become the most hated man in Greece. 

What I do know is that the government has gone out of there way to condemn the killing. This does not seem to have done anything to quel the mounting tension because sometimes people don’t want simple reactions–like a reflex a reaction does not require much thought. A reaction is just not good enough. I expect my government and my people to prevent these senseless acts of sporadic violence. Apologizing after the fact is an empty gesture of being put on the spot. 

Beneath the misdirected violence that some citizens of this country are exhibiting are thousands upon thousands upon thousands of silent, moderate voices begging for someone–ANYONE–to act, to take action, to lead. 

Instead, the country seems to have reached a breaking point. Politicians point fingers at one another. Masked youths have hit the streets attaching themselves to peaceful protests against the police and have caused damages reaching millions of euros.  Retail stores and private cars have been destroyed. The streets are littered with glass and debris. Athens is burning. 

My burning question is this. When the flames have been put out, when the funeral procession reaches the cemetery, when the anger has subsided what will we have learnt, what will we be left with?

In these desperate economic times, we will be left to pay for this mess through our taxes. Money that could have been spent on educating our youth on the values of compassion, of respect, of basic human connectedness will be spent on replacing the police cars that were destroyed. According to news reports, 600 people have lost their jobs in the Athens city center alone because their place of employment have been burned to the ground.  The Prime Minister has promised that all these stores will be reimbursed.

So this Christmas families will be fighting to put food on the table because mommy lost her job and next Christmas the same families will be fighting to put food on the table because mommy and daddy are still paying for some children’s warped idea of justice.

I would find all of this incredibly ironic if it were a hypothetical exercise in a university seminar. In the face of reality the irony fades away fast and all I am left with is a sense of awesome responsiblity.

We are all to blame. All our fingerprints are on that trigger. 

We let down Alex because the system was broken. We let down Alex because we have all been too scared, too apathetic, too corrupt, too greedy, too busy, too something to fix it.  We need stop demanding government to fix the system from the inside out and we need to start placing those demands on ourselves. This time,we need to fix the problems of our society from the outside in.