The evolution of breezy

Then

Me: I’m going to send him a message ’cause see I need help with this thing that only he knows.

Her: You don’t need to send him a message. Can’t you Google it, instead?

Me: I’ve tried but I’m not really understanding the results.

Her: Eleni…

Me: I swear!

Her: Honey, just admit that you’re trying to get his attention by sending him some contrived question.

Me: I’m trying to get his attention.

Her: Fine, but are you ready if he doesn’t reply?

Me: Yes! Yes! A thousand times yes! It doesn’t matter if he doesn’t reply. I’m cool. I’m confident. I’m breezy.

I send a short message that takes me fifteen minutes to compose.

Call her back every hour on the hour with updates.

“He still hasn’t replied! Do you think he will?”

“Maybe. Maybe not.”

“Oh my god! What did I do? Why did I send it? I’m such an idiot. He doesn’t like me. No-one likes me. I’m going to be alone forever.”

Now

Me: I want to send him a message.

Her: How come?

Me: I want to show off. I want him to see that I was in a magazine! Me! In a magazine!

Her: Do it! You should be showing it off. You should be proud of it!

Me: Really? I thought you’d think it was a bad idea. After every stupid decision I’ve made to get some guy’s attention…

Her: Are you ready for him -

Me: – Oh honey, I’m so over expectations.

Her: Then, send it.

I quickly send a message and then run into the kitchen to stir my chili.

Three days pass and we’re on the phone again. It feels like the end of the conversation because of all the silences.

“So what else has been happening?” she says.

“Nothing much…oh, wait, I forget to tell you. He replied to my message.”

“Yea?”

“Yea.”

“Woman, don’t make me beg. Aaand…?”

“And nothing. He replied. I smiled, put my phone away and ate my chili.”

Other posts in my Evolution series:

• The evolution of a dumped women’s thoughts
• The evolution of desperation
• The evolution of confidence
• The evolution of perspective