Woman
1 Mar
Sometimes I think he broke up with me because I didn’t shave my legs.
Now, before y’all think I err on the hairy side of feminism, LET ME EXPLAIN.
Every three weeks for the last five years I remove my leg hairs with wax. This has undeniably made a difference to the overall quantity and texture of my hair. It now grows back much thinner, lighter and in patches as opposed to thick, dark and all over the place. (There really is no poetic way of discussing body hair.)
The only problem with this method is the one awkward hairy week right before my appointment.
In winter and in singledom, this week is fine. But in summer and in coupledom, this week is tricky. So for two of the six weeks we were together, I was howdoIputthis not exactly smooth. Sure the thought of shaving did cross my mind. But I could not bring myself to put a razor on my legs. I could not bring myself to waste the five years of patient waxing simply because I was seeing some guy.
I also didn’t really care. I felt sexy and pretty and great, even if my legs felt like porcupine edges of a hedgehog. Admittedly I didn’t want him running his hands down my legs during those between appointment days. And when he did, I would push my face under his arm and say, ‘I know it doesn’t feel good but in five days I’ll be smooth again. Promise.’ He didn’t seem to mind. But having said, I also thought he really liked me. This turned out to be wrong. So in the absence of any real information on the matter, sometimes I think that hebroke up with me because I didn’t shave my legs.
(WHAT? It is totally within the realm of possibility.)
Regardless of his attitude towards my body hair, I often think about my attitude to this scenario. Does the fact that I wasn’t motivated to shave my legs for this man mean that I didn’t like him enough? Or does it mean that–finally–at 28 I’m comfortable in my own skin? Does it mean that I have accepted my body the way it is?
Because despite its imperfections on hairy days or bloated days or fat days I still feel sexy. The truth is that I feel my sensuality within me all the time. It lies beneath the surface of my flawed skin. It’s not written on smooth, almost airbrushed legs. Rather I feel it in the way that I swing my hips when I walk. My sensuality isn’t only revealed in a lacy, push-up bra; rather I feel it when I touch my collarbone. I feel it when my breasts rise ever so slightly when I breath.
And so if I feel happy (and sexy) the way I am and if I chose not to change this because of a man, I’ve got to ask:
Is this what it feels like to be confident?
Is this what it fees like to be a real woman?
I would not know… I seldom feel sexy, confident on occasion, and try to not care the rest of the time.
I think the answer to those last two questions is definitely yes.
And it’s better that way – if you’re comfortable in your own skin, then surely THAT is more attractive to a guy than someone who is insecure.
my boyfriend of 2 years could care less if i shave my legs and encourages me to feel confident in my own skin regardless of whether or not i have smooth or prickly appendages. it’s so nice not having to worry about shaving my legs every two or three days just to keep them smooth, and i’m not a fan of wax, so that’s a no-go for me. he loves me and my body with or without hair, and it’s so much more than i could have ever asked for.
it’s definitely helped my self-confidence and forced me to not care what the rest of the world thinks.
I found that most guys don’t really care and the ones that care enough to mention, I probably don’t like much anyway.
I’ve always thought that women did certain things for other *women*, not for men. We dress and primp and pretty so that we can look good toward each other– it’s that innate competition that I believe women are bred into and fed from birth. Have to be better than the next one. We can turn it around by letting women know that ‘all of that’ isn’t necessary to be a beautiful, confident, sexy woman.
I really think it depends on the kind of guy that you are with…now having said this it doesn’t mean you should change how you feel depending on which guy you are with…
so stay confident, and do what makes you feel sexy..
do remember though, that some guys bring out the best in ourselves and some just disable us…
Yes, my dear, yes! That’s exactly what it means. My husband will make jokes when I don’t shave, but he loves me all the same. And that is way better than doing it (or anything) just to please him.
I’m strong and I’m comfortable with being strong and I like that I’m strong. And if that is too much woman for you; if that makes your junk feel tiny… I’m not gonna make myself smaller. I’m not gonna put myself in a box so that you feel like a big man. I am a big woman and you either get used to it you or get out.”
I think we should plaster this quote wherever possible.
I also think that I should update my blog.
More importantly, I think it’s time we crossed off one more thing from our Ambitions List.
I still can’t believe that you passed over lunch for wax.
Actually, I can. I’m having the same wax/shave crisis with my underarms.
I think we all wish we were better at not compromising more on a regular basis.. even w/ the small things like shaving our legs. Yeah.. I say welcome to being a woman! :)
If he doesn’t love you when your legs aren’t shaved, he’s a prick, and being a woman means being able to see that. ;)
I finally updated. I think this is the closest I’ve been to a proper blog post. How do you do it, woman?!
I finally updated. I think this is the closest I’ve been to a proper blog post. How do you do it, woman?!
I haven’t shaved in… a while. Of course, I also haven’t gotten laid in a while, so there’s that!
And don’t you dare ever hesitate to share your thoughts on my blog! For the longest time, I was way uncomfortable talking about religion too (and I’ve always been super comfortable talking about sex)…. I get it.
I hate shaving. Really and completely HATE it. Aside from the time factor, I never feel like I do a good enough job, so I’m always a little self-conscious about my leg hair during sex.
Do you have your legs professionally waxed, or do you do it yourself? Can you recommend any drugstore brands that work??
Dear Lady,
A man who truely loves you for who you are will never leave you because your hair isnt done, you didnt do your makeup, or because you have a stubbly legs.
When you stop wondering and worrying about why a man will love you/or leave you I think you will finally be truely confident in yourself, your body, and with the entire substance being the only woman in the world like you. Dont wait until your 30/40/50/dead to expirience that.
A loyal follower for 3 years,
Elizabeth