Comments on: Illicit http://hope.gr/2010/02/11/illicit/ The Blog Mon, 06 Sep 2010 04:47:45 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.9.2 hourly 1 By: Ask | Hope Dies Last http://hope.gr/2010/02/11/illicit/comment-page-1/#comment-6960 Ask | Hope Dies Last Mon, 17 May 2010 19:21:12 +0000 http://hope.gr/?p=2067#comment-6960 [...] the last three months, Illicit and I maintained a strict  friendship. There was no further kissing and I had convinced myself that [...] [...] the last three months, Illicit and I maintained a strict  friendship. There was no further kissing and I had convinced myself that [...]

]]> By: Trigger http://hope.gr/2010/02/11/illicit/comment-page-1/#comment-5824 Trigger Tue, 09 Mar 2010 00:51:20 +0000 http://hope.gr/?p=2067#comment-5824 Oh man. I have been the girlfriend in this situation, who found out about it later. And it sucks. And I have wanted to hate the girl who was the "other" woman. But ultimately, it is not her (read: your) responsibility to keep him from making the choice to stray. I do agree, however, with the commenter that said you deserve to be someone's #1, not someone's #2. You deserve all that and more! Live and learn. Oh man. I have been the girlfriend in this situation, who found out about it later. And it sucks. And I have wanted to hate the girl who was the “other” woman. But ultimately, it is not her (read: your) responsibility to keep him from making the choice to stray.

I do agree, however, with the commenter that said you deserve to be someone’s #1, not someone’s #2. You deserve all that and more! Live and learn.

]]> By: Miss Devylish http://hope.gr/2010/02/11/illicit/comment-page-1/#comment-5657 Miss Devylish Sat, 20 Feb 2010 02:29:08 +0000 http://hope.gr/?p=2067#comment-5657 As one of my best guy friends has said when he's lured a woman to cheat, it's not your problem really. He's in the relationship. Not you. However, what I try to keep in mind, w/out passing judgement mind you, is I always ask myself if I find myself near a line like that - and I have been so I get it - Do I want to be second? No. Absolutely not. And also, how would I feel if I were his girlfriend/wife and he was crossing lines w/ someone else? Shitty. It only takes two questions. And really, should only take the last one. I know it's tough, but help a sister out and put yourself in her shoes.. You do deserve to be happy.. but doesn't she as well? Just saying.. As one of my best guy friends has said when he’s lured a woman to cheat, it’s not your problem really. He’s in the relationship. Not you. However, what I try to keep in mind, w/out passing judgement mind you, is I always ask myself if I find myself near a line like that – and I have been so I get it – Do I want to be second? No. Absolutely not. And also, how would I feel if I were his girlfriend/wife and he was crossing lines w/ someone else? Shitty. It only takes two questions. And really, should only take the last one. I know it’s tough, but help a sister out and put yourself in her shoes.. You do deserve to be happy.. but doesn’t she as well? Just saying..

]]> By: That may be what I need, but this is what I want | Hope Dies Last http://hope.gr/2010/02/11/illicit/comment-page-1/#comment-5645 That may be what I need, but this is what I want | Hope Dies Last Fri, 19 Feb 2010 17:19:14 +0000 http://hope.gr/?p=2067#comment-5645 [...] After you have crossed a line you feel you cannot go back to a time when you hadn’t. You cannot un-learn what you have learned and you cannot undo what has been done. Since you’re already going to hell, you figure ‘What the hell, I might as well carry on.’ Especially when you really want to.  And then your mind will come up with all sorts of justifications to let you do it. ‘I deserve to be happy too.’ You ignore the little voice that replies, ‘Yes. But does it have to be at some other person’s expense?’ You want to jump into the deep end of darkness (or is it lightness? You can’t really tell the difference) and you want to live in denial. His head is stuck in the sand and you want to join him there. But you can’t because your head is always up, floating in the clouds. You know what the right thing to do is, but one minute you don’t care because what if this is the right thing? And the next minute you do care and and you know that you know right from wrong and you promise yourself that you will not move away from the crossed line. Then he calls and leaves an epic voice mail just to cheer you up and you want to believe that it is friendly but you feel that its not. So you stay away until you can’t stay away anymore. And then you hope that you will be able to restrain and restrain and restrain yourself from crossing that line a second time. Because the first time could–technically–be justified as an honest mistake. But the second time? That would be a choice. A conscious, deliberate choice. [...] [...] After you have crossed a line you feel you cannot go back to a time when you hadn’t. You cannot un-learn what you have learned and you cannot undo what has been done. Since you’re already going to hell, you figure ‘What the hell, I might as well carry on.’ Especially when you really want to.  And then your mind will come up with all sorts of justifications to let you do it. ‘I deserve to be happy too.’ You ignore the little voice that replies, ‘Yes. But does it have to be at some other person’s expense?’ You want to jump into the deep end of darkness (or is it lightness? You can’t really tell the difference) and you want to live in denial. His head is stuck in the sand and you want to join him there. But you can’t because your head is always up, floating in the clouds. You know what the right thing to do is, but one minute you don’t care because what if this is the right thing? And the next minute you do care and and you know that you know right from wrong and you promise yourself that you will not move away from the crossed line. Then he calls and leaves an epic voice mail just to cheer you up and you want to believe that it is friendly but you feel that its not. So you stay away until you can’t stay away anymore. And then you hope that you will be able to restrain and restrain and restrain yourself from crossing that line a second time. Because the first time could–technically–be justified as an honest mistake. But the second time? That would be a choice. A conscious, deliberate choice. [...]

]]> By: Paula http://hope.gr/2010/02/11/illicit/comment-page-1/#comment-5620 Paula Mon, 15 Feb 2010 19:24:20 +0000 http://hope.gr/?p=2067#comment-5620 I think most of us would be lying if we said we hadn't given into a moment of weakness once or twice. I know *I* have... I think most of us would be lying if we said we hadn’t given into a moment of weakness once or twice.

I know *I* have…

]]> By: Princess of the Universe http://hope.gr/2010/02/11/illicit/comment-page-1/#comment-5615 Princess of the Universe Mon, 15 Feb 2010 05:11:57 +0000 http://hope.gr/?p=2067#comment-5615 I wouldn't beat yourself up too much - you said yourself, too many vodkas and he initiated. Maybe not your most shining moment, but not unforgivable. xo I wouldn’t beat yourself up too much – you said yourself, too many vodkas and he initiated. Maybe not your most shining moment, but not unforgivable.
xo

]]> By: TSG http://hope.gr/2010/02/11/illicit/comment-page-1/#comment-5601 TSG Sat, 13 Feb 2010 04:46:08 +0000 http://hope.gr/?p=2067#comment-5601 You're not a bad person. You have a conscience. Be glad :) You’re not a bad person. You have a conscience. Be glad :)

]]> By: amber http://hope.gr/2010/02/11/illicit/comment-page-1/#comment-5600 amber Sat, 13 Feb 2010 04:07:25 +0000 http://hope.gr/?p=2067#comment-5600 Thank god I'm not the only one weak enough to cross lines I shouldn't. I'm STILL crossing lines I shouldn't in this exact way. I'm a bad person. I accept this about myself, and while they say acceptance is the first step to recovery, I'm far, far away from quitting. Thank you for sharing this. Thank god I’m not the only one weak enough to cross lines I shouldn’t. I’m STILL crossing lines I shouldn’t in this exact way. I’m a bad person. I accept this about myself, and while they say acceptance is the first step to recovery, I’m far, far away from quitting.

Thank you for sharing this.

]]> By: Faye http://hope.gr/2010/02/11/illicit/comment-page-1/#comment-5597 Faye Fri, 12 Feb 2010 13:18:07 +0000 http://hope.gr/?p=2067#comment-5597 Oh, Hope. I feel so frustrated because every time you post something like this, I have an insatiable urge to read more. And more. And more. You are addictive, just so you know. Oh, Hope. I feel so frustrated because every time you post something like this, I have an insatiable urge to read more. And more. And more. You are addictive, just so you know.

]]> By: TSG http://hope.gr/2010/02/11/illicit/comment-page-1/#comment-5596 TSG Fri, 12 Feb 2010 05:34:13 +0000 http://hope.gr/?p=2067#comment-5596 poor girlfriend. to err is to be human but man...what a jerk. thx 4 sharing. poor girlfriend. to err is to be human but man…what a jerk. thx 4 sharing.

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