Which is part of my crush too. I have a crush on the memory of who my boyfriend was when we first met nearly a year ago. The things he wrote, how he wrote them. The way he looked at me, the way he kissed me urgently then. It was filled with such hope of what could be between us.

But Life kind of intervened…his job situation changed and affected everything, just everything. We’re still together and working on getting back to where we used to be, but I don’t think we ever will. I feel like the opportunity for such things has passed and now it will never be.

We love each other and that’s more than the mere hope of such things in those early moments…it’s the realization of them. But I still feel a pang for what we were unable to share, for what was taken from us. For who he was and who I was to him.

But.

There’s always a but :S My crush has a girlfriend, and she is aware of my existence. (gasp!)

But I still have a crush on the same guy. Even after three flings and a quarter of a relationship.

Thank you for being the ever lovely you today! x