[I started this series three days before I met him. And as we are currently 'dating' I still consider myself semi-single. I don't want to date anyone else, I don't want to meet anyone else but I'm also nowhere near Girlfriend or Attached Status. So, onwards. Notes from a singleton #1 here]
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Dear Attached Hope,
STOP TALKING ABOUT THE RELATIONSHIP.
Stop it.
Relationships don’t talk into being.
They are into being.
STOP TRYING TO FORCE INTIMACY.
Stop it.
True intimacy can’t be coerced, sideways, by thinly veiled ‘innocent’ questions.
It grows through shared experiences together. In a staight line. Directly. Naturally.
And if you really need to consistently talk about your relationship? Go see your therapist. Its probably got more to do with you than with him.
From your alter ego,
Semi-single Hope
{ 3 comments… read them below or add one }
I like this one! :)
I loved this.
I realized that I was starting to try and “define the relationship” the other night also, which was so odd because I really don’t want it to have a definition yet. I like the way I feel when I am with him, but I am not at the point where I feel ready to be his girlfriend or to have the attached status. In spite of this fact, it is as if I have this little voice in my head telling me I need to know where this is going and I need to have a definition so I can control the situation and act appropriately.
My therapist told me I need to “be here, now”. Best advice ever.
With every relationship I’ve ever been in prior to Torsten, I had to have constant talks and always ask a million questions to reaffirm what I already knew. I could never just believe it, you know?
With Torsten it’s been different from the start. Thank god.
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