1. Scanning his profile will make you want to drink. Because, you realize that in the year since you have last seen each other, he has fallen in love, bought a flat and now plans to move into it with his new girlfriend. You, on the other hand, are exactly (minus a few kilos and a spanking new career) where he left you.
2. Reading his wall comments will make you want to hit your head against a blunt object. For example, “Things with The Cop Girlfriend are going strong. Looks like it had to take the lady of the law to slow me down.” Barf.
3. Reading her sexually charged wall comments to him about how much she will enjoying living with him, will make you want to cry. But you don’t. Instead, you use your mouse to close the window.
4. All of this, will inevitably make you come up with insane strategies to beat him. “Oh my god! I have to get married before him. I have to. I have to. I have to. And I will get married to someone better than a cop! I will get married to a freaking TERMINATOR!
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LOL, so long as it’s the Terminator *before* he became governor of California ;)
Don’t marry the “governator” – don’t think that’ll make you happy.
But I have to agree to all of your points. I hate facebook (sometimes…)
Facebook is evil, that’s what I say. I tend to “hate-stalk” former people I cared about, so I had to have a come-to-jesus meeting with myself and learn how to DELETE. DELETE, DELETE, DELETE. It’s your friend.
You’re not alone. I still facebook stalk a certain someone. It pleases me that he’s not doing a lot at the moment but then it’s still early days. When he starts making friends with lots of fit women… then I’ll start to get mad.
Luckily, if he’s stalking me, he’ll notice I’ve recently made some *very* fit men my friends recently. He doesn’t need to know that they’re old childhood friends that I don’t stand a chance with!
I know it sucks. But let’s look at it from a different angle : you have one full year of getting over it time under your belt. This may feel like a setback, but think of how much you’ve healed since his initial leaving.
You know what Hope, I’m going to pass on a motto that was given to me by a very wise friend:
“fuck that dude. fuck him where he lives.”
Every time I think of him, I think of those two sentences and I feel better! :)
Marrying Terminator is a bulletproof plan. I am not sure you’d get to show off with him though – I am not sure he has a Facebook account.
;)
Those few kilos and a brand new job are a huge accomplishments!
loved this. SO happy my ex isn’t on FB for this exact reason.
Fuck that dude, indeed. My god is that a good motto. I couldn’t agree more.
Almost a week ago, I deleted my ex from the following: MySpace, Twitter, Facebook (the source of all evil), blocked him on Gmail chat, and deleted him from my phone. It is not that he’s a bad person but for my own mental health, I could not take him raving about his new girlfriend anymore. It was almost like he was trying to prove a point. My point? Tell someone else, dude.
I feel your pain. Delete, sister. Delete. :)
It’s me again :)
I agree with every point from your note.
Facebook should have functionality to ignore someone, but without really deleting :)
Back away from Facebook :)
My method for dealing with the end of a relationship is too black and white for some people, but I tend to cut them out entirely–as in no gchat, no facebook, etc. It makes it easier to avoid the temptation.
So how is the spanking new career going? You never mention it.
It is horrible but you have made progress even without your job and loss of kilos!
Hard accepting how fast men find new partners.
They’re automatically fast tracked to new relationships after a break up.
Step away from your computer…
But only after you delete him!
No need to be masochistic. It’s not worth the heartache!
I swear when people blab all over the boy/girlfriend’s wall it’s just the same as the neighbourhood tom cat peeing on his favourite walls. Somebody is feeling a bit insecure and needs to mark her territory!
If you can tell me how you master the self-control to stop stalking someone you shouldn’t, please let me know.
In fact, please patent it. I’m sure there are others that can benefit from this knowledge as well.
@OC: So what’s the point of patenting it?
People who get all gushy over FB walls strike me as needing to prove something.
Omigod, it makes me so happy that someone else has done this too! Only mine ended up getting married before me and now they’re *pregnant.* So that was a fun night of misery… until I remembered that he’s an ass.
I’m sorry that your ex is an ass, too. And that he’d dating a slut. I agree with those that recommend leaving Facebook for a bit. It actually helps.
And please. When you find your One True Love (to terminate all others… ah-ha-ha…), let us know if he looks like Ahnold or the other hot kinda creepy stalker-looking guy, or an entirely new model. I hear that they come with all kind of gadgets now!
I agree with princess. It wasent until the summer of 2008 that i signed up with facebook, and i must admit it is stupid. People feel as if they need to prove something on there, they post pictures of their awesome vacations, expensive cars, like who cares??
I really liked your blog! great
LOL. If you hadn’t written this two years ago, I would have thought that you were peeking over my shoulder. I had the luck, though, to come across this guy when he was experiencing the opposite transition: from wanting to fall in love again, to wanting no attachment to one person – and I’d already flipped for him. He wouldn’t leave me alone when I needed him to, and now I get to hear the odd thing about his party life, his new-found sex-life (that was non-existent when I met him – it’s like he changed from my almost-ideal man, into a joke).