Despite appearances, ‘being single’ is not one of the first or second or third terms I would use to describe myself. I think about it less than people think I do.
You know when I am actively aware that I have been single for a really long time?
When I need to have a medical procedure done and have to resort going to the hospital with my mother. Of course, I feel lucky and blessed to have her here and close enough that she can cook for me whenever my little heart desires but I would rather have cut that part of the umbilical cord a long time ago.
When are you actively aware that you are single?




When I am at some sort of function where dancing is inevitable. Once that first slow song starts up and I make my way to my table while everyone else makes their way on the dance floor. Like a salmon fishing against the current. That’s when I am aware.
I used to always have left-over food, with no boy around to have multiple second helpings until it was all gone! I think I saved a fortune in lunches!
When I was single, I was actively aware when my little brother (yes, my 22 year old little brother) got married, and then called me and told me that I could not bring a date because it’s not like I would be bringing anyone of significance.
It was like he wanted me to strut the reception with all of the little boys I used to babysit with a sign around my neck that read, “Hello, I am John’s Old Sister and I’m Single.”
Do you think I’m bitter? No….
Well I’m not anymore (single, that is), but I used to really feel it when all I wanted to do after work was stay home and watch t.v., read, make dinner, go to bed early, etc., but I’d end up going out instead because “what if?? what if the guy I’m supposed to be with is at that art show/dive bar/beer-pong tournament I’ve been invited to go to???” Ugh, I’m happy to stay home now.
Oh, but moms are the BEST when you’re sick. They tend to “improvise” less when cooking you get-well dinners, for one thing.
I felt really single when I had to sign all of my mortgage paperwork “Jane B, a single woman,” (they wouldn’t let me change it to “haggard spinster,” sigh), but I felt single in a kind of awesome way.
At weddings. Anywhere that I am surrounded by couples. On my birthday when I catch my mother and one of my closest friends *discussing* the fact that I am single.
And whenever I cook a really fabulous meal that takes the better part of a day, and then eat it by myself. That doesn’t stop me from doing it, because I love cooking and I love eating, but there is often a bit of melancholy mixed in with my lasagna.
At strip joints.
At Christmas. When my entire family gets together. There are four of us girl cousins. Lil Sis and I are single, and the cousins have really nice, sweet boyfriends that come with them. That’s when I’m completely aware that I’m single. It’s so depressing.
I’m not single, but when everyone else in my residence is cooking, watching films etc. with their boyfriends I haven’t seen mine for 3 days I feel like I might as well be.
every single day. living alone with your parents across the country kinda does that to you. uber depressing.
this is a good one…when my godparents and every other greek adult barage me with the question “and when are you getting married, you’re __ years old”; doesn’t help that my sister who is 3 yrs younger just got engaged.
When I have a really bad day at work and all I want to do is be able to go home and cuddle… :(
this is my first time here, i like your blog.
To answer, I feel single when I go on trips with my friends and they are all in couples and I am the odd one out with sleeping arrangements and stuff, being the one with the single room. the fact I am 29 and still live with my parents in Asian tradition does not make it easier
Today, possibly, as my sister has announced she is pregnant and she just got married less than a month ago.
Romance, marriage and babies feel a long way off for me!
Since I’m not technically single, I’ll list when I’m aware that I should be…
When he’s walking about the door and I say, “Wait! I need one more kiss” with a cute smile on my face…and he rolls his eyes.
Ugh, why am I still with him?
When I’m rushing through the airport struggling with my bags and every other girl is strolling with a guy by her side. It’s worst mid-way through a 20hr trip!
I am reminded at every family function… every Holiday and every time one of my friends gets married, engaged or has a baby! It’s exhausting….
when i have to carry a nearly 50 pound (ok 30 lbs?? – HEAVY) filing cabinet into the house alone.
Strategy: open the box, carry the pieces in one-by-one.
seriously singe.
When I see couples shopping together, and I’m with my mother *again*. I love her, and don’t want anything to happen to either of my parents, but it makes me sad.
Also, when people keep going on about sex, or cuddling and alluding to romance, to having someone who is there for them/doesn’t seem to notice other women/wants to be there for them when things are tough, all of it makes me lonely. I feel like I missed my chance, and I’m being toyed with.