A lot of people have told me (or made me feel) that jealousy is wrong. That I ’should’ not be jealous. That I ’should’ be happy. For the joys, the successes, the lucks of others.
Excuse me? Let us back up for a second. Who said those two were mutually exclusive?
I’d like to find that person who took jealousy out of the dictionary and redefined it in this way. As if I can’t be happy AND jealous at the same time . I want to track them down, tie them to a chair in a windowless room and force them to watch Sarah Palin interviews. WITH THE SOUND ON.
Come on.
I can be happy that my friend found that perfect little black leather bag that we’ve both been searching for. But at the same time I can be jealous.Not because I want her bag but because I want THE bag. Full stop.
Why then do I feel the need to apologise for wanting a bag?
Why then do I feel bad for wanting something I want?
Why then do I feel guilty for wanting something I want that someone else just happens to have?
See where I am going with this?
Of course there is a differece between your run of the mill “I wish I also had a boyfriend to suck face with on Sunday mornings” kind of jealousy and that other kind. That blinding, insane, fuelled by rage “I want to be like you so badly I’m stealing your underwear type of jealousy.
So you know what? Fuck it.
I’m owning up to it and I’m owning it. I’m not going to let it make me feel guilty anymore. Without further ado-
Hi! I’m Hope and I am jealous* of:
- women in happy (on most days) relationships
- single women who date
- men! They can pee standing up!
- people who get pursued by the opposite sex ALL THE BLOODY TIME.
- bloggers who get loads and loads and loads of comments.
- people who say what they mean and say what they feel and say what they want UNAPOLOGETICALLY.
- simple people (and I don’t mean stupid)
- natural red heads
- Jon Stewart’s wife. Because of all the laughing she must do.
- Kate Middleton. She’ is dating a bona fide prince, after all.
What are you jealous of? Or are you like yesterday’s Hope? Still trying to convince yourself that jealousy is not a real human emotion, much like anger and joy, but instead is an EVIL. An evil that rivals the likes of ’socialism’ and should be crushed? Or do you own your jealousy without apologies like that pair of leggings that is sitting in your closet?
*The first kind of jealousy. I really don’t want to steal anyone’s underwear.
{ 21 comments… read them below or add one }
You make lots of good points, and I’m “jealous” of a lot of the same things you are. I’ve always made it a point not to say “I’m so jealous of you!!” when a friend tells me something I’m, well, jealous of. “I’m so happy for you!!” sounds so much better.
I loved this post! I’m with you, I can be happy for somewhile while being jealous. For instance, when I see my friend head over heels happy in love – I truly do feel both happiness and jealousy for them (and I don’t really think thats so wrong either). Jealous because I want that and I’m scared I’ll never find it. But happy because my friend was lucky to find it.
*I’m jealous of people who can afford to live in a city like NYC or Boston.
*I’m jealous of people who have a job they are passionate about.
*And like you I’m jealous of women who are pursued by men constantly and also jealous of the women in love and in healthy relationships.
So yea, I get jealous but I’m not gonna apologize for it… great post!
I am jealous of most of the above. Except Kate Middleton. Prince W is looking more and more like Charles every day… plus he’s, what? 24? And his hairline is already receding? I’ll take Harry any day :)
Also, anyone whose heat is currently working. My apartment is FREEZING!
I think you DO want to steal my underwear for having red hair. Or maybe my hair? You can have it!!
I am jealous of….
*girls whos hair doesn’t classify as “orange”
*girls who can go from relationship to relationship with barely a break. I don’t get it. I really don’t!
*People who can travel all over the world without worrying too much about money.
*People who are naturally clean and organized. Sigh. I am just not one of those people.
i like your blog…i’m all about owning it!…i think :)
I am jealous of….
* People who go out to a bar, or club, or freaking Dunkin Donuts at 9am on a Sunday morning in crappy painting clothes and end up getting a phone number/date in between buying a ‘Box of Joe’…. (true story, happened last weekend)
* People who can dance and make it look effortless and talented
* People who don’t need to practice hours a day on a guitar or keyboard to be able to play
* Anyone living in a warm sunny climate… bah humbug on winter.
I LOVED this post. I agree completely. This is going to sound REALLY weird….but sometimes I have penis envy. When my husband gets off so easily and sometimes I can’t, I wonder wha t it feels like for him. Stupid penises. I might make a whole list on my blog…but dont worry I’ll linkey!!!!!
I’ve always considered a measured amount of jealousy a healthy normal thing. People who say they are never jealous?… Wel,l, they are just liars, really…
This morning I am jealous of
* my friend’s ability to make any outfit look stylish
* another friend’s ability to drive like it was a piece of cake in morning rush hour
* the cute necklace my secretary is wearing today
* and just about all the people who live in a warm climate. The weather we are having this morning? A decent owner wouldn’t even let their dog out in this weather!
Hmm, gotta start on my lunchtime jealousy list now…
awesome post…. and I am commenting just for you!
I don’t think jealousy is wrong… I think it drives you to get the things in life you want… so go ahead and be jealous!
I think you read my mind with this post. My best friend just got engaged in the most romantic way with the most beautiful ring by a great guy. I am ridiculously happy for her, but I can’t help but think, will it ever be my turn? Will I ever get to experience anything so beautiful? So I guesss yeah, I’m jealous. I feel the same way about everything you listed but I’m just going to second one thing on your list because I agree with it wholeheartedly:
*simple people
Why can’t I be more like them? Sigh.
So… stealing underwear is bad?
Too many damn rules.
I am jealous that dude gets to date Kate Middleton.
I am jealous of -
- my dog, who gets to sleep all freakin’ day on the sunny spot on the couch.
- my husband, because he telecommutes and thus, does not spend nearly 10 hours a day going to work, being at work, or leaving from work.
- women who can style their hair 150 different ways.
- people who can swim because I can’t and it just looks like so much fun…
I absolutely agree with you! I have never understood why I souldn’t be happy for and completely jealous of someone and what they have.
I am more than happy for my little sister and yet completely jealous of her! She has everything I want – the house, the wonderful marriage, the 4 kids, the two cars and the DOG! She is such a success, it’s hard to be graciously happy for her,
Don’t get me wrong, I love my sister to death, I just want my version of her life! Although, I’m sure she would have similar things to say about my life – I have the successful career, no one to answer to and be responsible for, I live in sunny LA, not the snow infested Canadian North, and I have ALL the shoes!
Grass is ALWAYS greener isn’t it!
Hi! I just started reading your blog and I want to say that it is awesome.
I am jealous of:
-pet owners
-home owners
-people who are effortlessly smart and good at grammar
I really, really want a dog.
I’m jealous of people who have traveled out of the country and can afford to continue doing so.
Great post.
I love this Hope.
I’m jealous of:
*those who can drink their face off and not be hung over.
*people who have been in love more than once.
*people who are in love now.
*morning people (I hate waking up early)
*people who travel to luxurious places for a living.
*people with lots of pretty shoes and walk in closets.
Love this post! I could have written your list (except the red hair, I love my blonde!). I’m jealous of
-people who can eat whatever they want and not gain weight
-people who are naturally talented at something
-people who know what they want to be when they grow up
Hope, you rock.
(Also, Jen R., I am with you all the way, sister. I think we officially know why they call them weiners.)
However, at the moment, I can’t think of anything I’m jealous of. I have found that a half-gallon of ice cream can send one into a jealousy-free stupor, thus alleviating a great deal of mental suffering. :)
- people who say what they mean and say what they feel and say what they want UNAPOLOGETICALLY.
Totally jealous of this one here…. was just thinking about it this morning actually!
Amen, lady. I am so sick of having to pretend as though I don’t covet other things or characteristics.
Me? I’m jealous of people whose hair holds a style.
Of people who can eat without worrying about gaining a pound.
People who have a good job without going to school.
1. women with perfect skin
2. people who are tan
3. the cutsie families with the husband and wife and 2 young kids who drive around in their new Volvo (this one hurts bad)