I was watching TV the other day and I happened to land on a daytime talk show-ish type of programme. The presenter with too much make up and a head full of peroxide blond hair was pulling a terrifying sympathetic face to the camera. I stopped to see what was transpiring.
It turned out that they were having a round table discussion on friendship. The caller, a young girl of 22, was telling the panel of experts (cough cough other women with peroxide blond hair and way too much make up) that she could not possibly fathom the reason her best friend was no longer speaking to her. Oh, did I mention that the caller had an affair with the best friend’s father who then proceeded to leave his wife and children to live with her?
Yes.
Still Nicky the caller would not admit that she had betrayed her friend and this might (might, who knows I’m no expert) be the reason her friend no longer wanted to have anything to do with her.
“No” she said, “I did not do anything wrong. I didn’t lie to her. In fact, wasn’t I there for her when she needed me? Wasn’t I always a good friend?”
“So you told her about the affair when it began then?”
“No. Of course not.”
“Well then you lied to her.”
“I didn’t lie because she never asked me if I was sleeping with her father.”
This line of defense has always alluded me. If you’re going to go down, isn’t is far better to keep your dignity and say, “Yes I did lie. But in my defense I’m stupid”?
It’s like this story my friend R once told me.
In high school, while R was away from her hometown for a couple of weeks, her friend made out with her boyfrend. Upon R’s return, the boyfriend broke up with her saying, “It’s not you, but I can no longer be with you.” Bless his little guilty heart.
R, naturally, turned to her friend confused and in many conversations they pondered together the reasons that he could have ended the relationship.
“Do you think there’s someone else? R asked.
“There might be.” the friend replied.
Some time later, R discovered the truth and confronted her friend. Her reaction?
“I tried telling you.”
“When exactly?”
“Well, when I agreed with you that he might be seeing someone.”
In her defense, what was she supposed to say?
“Yes, there might be someone else. And by the way haha, funny story, that person happens to be me?”
No. We make mistakes. Then, we lie about them. And then we use trite words to cover up the guilt we feel. We cover up the guilt because if others can’t see it, we can’t see it.
And all those shitty things we’ve done, have never happened.
And as long as the guilt is missing, we are not flawed.
Not in the least.
Not in the slightest.
{ 5 comments… read them below or add one }
Never mind the guilt, who does that to their friend? Neither of the two people cited should attempt to call themselves a friend again!
It’s things like this that make me mad…a so called friend cheated with my boyfriend and thought it was ok because he said we’d split up…i don’t care, you don’t do that to your friends.
Don’t go with a friends ex or family member unless you’ve spoken to them first…and only then if you’re absolutely convinced of the choice
Ah I love that story! So true. Sorry I can’t leave a better comment, but a wonderful salad is awaiting me. I’m starved! Also… I gave you a blog award… http://girljordyn.wordpress.com/2008/10/10/the-fortunate/
Oh man, I love those Greek talk shows, “I’m cheating on my wife because she got fat,” “I don’t want my son to marry his fiance because she’s overweight, even though he’s a fatty himself,” “I caught my husband with another man”, “My best friend slept with my boyfriend” soooooo entertaining, but don’t watch too much because you can actually feel your brain turn to custard. It also distorts your ability to think. I once started a conversation with “No but it’s true, I saw it on one of those afternoon chat shows..” everyone began shouting that I should never, ever believe anything said on those shows.
Dont you just love that whole uniform, peroxide blonde thing? You are GREEK, you are not SWEDISH! You have beautiful, dark, nutty hair, why do you feel the need to bleach the life out of it?
Now I am oddly interested in seeing a Greek talk show.
Also, a friend pulls that crap on me, and my revenge will be biblical.
This post has bounced around in my head and refuses to leave since I first read it. It resonates. You know why :)