My therapist says that I have a tendency to distort reality. That I don’t really have any evidence to support half of the many thoughts that float through my mind throughout the day.
I think she may be right. Case in point.
***
“Has someone complimented you recently? she asked.
“”Yes.”
“What was it?”
“You look really beautiful and you’ve lost so much weight.”
“Did you say thank you?”
“Of course I did.”
“Of course you did. But what went through your mind when she said it?”
“I don’t want to say.”
“And you’re laughing again.”
“I’m just so predictable aren’t I?”
“What did you think when she said that?”
“OK. OK. I thought she’s only saying that because she’s put on weight and I am thin compared to her but if she was thinner she wouldn’t have complimented me.”
“So in essence you’re saying that it doesn’t count as a compliment in your mind.”
“It DOESN’T count.”
Silence.
“I have a long way to go still, don’t I?”
{ 9 comments… read them below or add one }
“Nothing makes a woman more beautiful than the belief that she is beautiful.”
-Sophia Loren
Keep your chin up! People see you in a completely different way than you see yourself. I can tell that your have an amazing inner beauty from your writing. Now all you have to do is dig deep to see what others do.
Oh yes, I know this feeling well. I do the same thing! (I think a lot of women have this problem)What Sara Jane said is true tho, everyone sees us differently and you just have to accept the fact that people are complimenting you because they honestly believe that, rather than because of some other motive.
You ARE a beautiful person, inside and out–and i know this because i have seen the proof! (and I read about it everyday) xoxoxoxo!
I second SJ & Ashley but I still have to say.. I would have been thinking the same. exact. thing.
I think I’ve had the exact conversation with my therapist.
Isn’t that what therapy is for? To go round and round in circles until, finally…something clicks.
Of course, the clicking can take forever! ;)
Cognitive distortions is my favorite phrase from my time in therapy after my divorce.
When you have been hard on yourself for so long, recognising these distortions as they come is half the battle. Or at least it was for me.
You know its brave that you put this up here! Don’t be so hard on yourself! Its awesome that you are going and doing well I might add. These are positive steps and its great that you’re doing them!
I distort reality on a daily basis… because reality continues to ruin my life!
hey..im a blogger frm M’sia n coincidently i found your blog n i got addicted from it because i feel like i can relate 2 you..i can feel wat your feeling..whenever someone compliment me i’ll always think that they are forcing themself to do it..i have confess 2 a guy who happens 2 reject me and i’m still waiting for him 2 come up 2 me and say that he actually likes me..pathetic huh?? im always the girl that no guy will go after..all my friends are guy magnet n this make me feel even worse because i keep wondering why no one would like me..i even starts 2 hate fairytales because the princess always have a happy ending and keep thinking that i’m someone who don’t desrve 2 b happy..im 1 complicated person huh?? btw did i tell you that im fifteen..