So very Sex and the City-ish

I’m training a girl who will be taking my position come August 1st and for the most part she is quite lovely.

The part that isn’t quite lovely is the part where she manages daily to twist the conversation to the fact that I am four years older than her and without a man. While she is in a long term relationship and planning to get married next summer.

I may be without MAN but gagging for marriage I am not. So, her attempts at making me feel bad have not been very successful.Her attempts at pissing me off, however, have succeeded beyond her wildest ambitions. I have wanted to grab her by the shoulders and shake her until the belief that a relationship is the only real defining aspect of a woman plops out of her head. I have wanted to then stomp on it with my freshly pedicured single feet.

Instead, I smile and let her search the internet for cheap tickets to great honeymoon destinations. My smile only wavers when I look over her shoulder and say, “Oooo, I’d love to go to the Seychelles” and she retorts “I think you’ll have to get a boyfriend before you start dreaming about going on a honeymoon.” And she laughs. And I laugh. All the while, wanting my elbow to meet her face.

Then, the other day she came back from an errand telling me that the old guy at the bank had hit on her.� The line he used was priceless and I giggled and asked her if she would tell her boyfriend.

“Off course not.” she said.

“Oh? Why ever not?” I replied cooly.

“He’s the jealous type. If he knew that some guy at the bank is hitting on me? He wouldn’t let me leave the house ever!”

“But, but…its so funny.” I ventured.

“He won’t see it that way. I tend not to tell him things that will make my life more difficult.”

With that one statement any feelings of envy I may have had that she is on the verge of ever after and I am not, flew out the window.Because isn’t it much better to be single and fabulous than in some controlling relationship with a man who appears to be incredibly insecure?

I thought so too. And today as I had a ten minute window before a meeting I decided to run into Zara and buy a pair of fabulous shoes to go with my revived BEING SINGLE ROCKS attitude.

I walked the couple of block easily, with a fresh swing in my step and a swagger in my hips. I think the thought, “I am awesome” must have passed my mind a couple of times.

As I reached the entrance I noticed a glorious maxi dress at the far end of the store that would be perfect for a single girl. Out of the corner of my eye, I noticed another woman approaching the dress and so I did what anyone of you would do in that situation.

I began to run.

And suddenly I was not running anymore. Suddenly I was spreadeagled flat on my face, the contents of my bag sprawled across the floor with me and ten pairs of eyes staring at the mess in front of them.

Suffice it to say, arrogance does not suit me.� And the universe will go out of her way to throw me in my place each and every time I even try to go in that direction.

19 Responses to So very Sex and the City-ish

allthewine | July 21, 2008 at 5:28 pm | Reply

god, you’re life is a movie.

And I want to kick that girl in the teeth too. She’s probably so exuberant to cover over her misery. “Hey, im in a horrible relationship, everyone else should suffer too!”
kristin | July 21, 2008 at 5:29 pm | Reply

sounds like my kind of day!
thenextfish | July 21, 2008 at 5:29 pm | Reply

That was hilarious! You’re trainee sounds so obnoxious. I hope you informed her that people can actually have a holiday without a honeymoon being involved.
chickbug | July 21, 2008 at 6:30 pm | Reply

haha! what a great story…and how amazing the universe always has a way of bringing us down to earth (pun intended). =)
Rose | July 21, 2008 at 6:58 pm | Reply

Oh sweetie… *hugs*. What a bitch you work with, I want to punch her just reading your blog. :)
Princess Pointful | July 21, 2008 at 7:17 pm | Reply

Haha! I’ve heard that called instant karma before… when the universe let’s you know you are being a little silly.

But your co-worker?? Seriously?? Since when can you not go to a nice location when you are not on a honeymoon? And she is way too damn young to get married anyways!
the almost right word | July 21, 2008 at 7:19 pm | Reply

hilarious. thank you.

and forget that girl — her marriage will probably be over before you can say “divorce.”
Essentially Me | July 21, 2008 at 8:11 pm | Reply

See I don’t understand how she can be so smug about getting married when really from what she says it sounds more like a prison sentence waiting to happen. Ah, well.

And you falling like that is like Carrie falling in Dior!
Maria | July 21, 2008 at 8:25 pm | Reply

Oh, my, god. I hate this girl. She should be shot, hit by a car, then rolled over once more for good measure just to get the stupid idiot out. Argh. So dumb.
Lpeg | July 21, 2008 at 10:50 pm | Reply

oh god that was funny!

and don’t let her get to you. obviously she’s not truly happy.
Ashley | July 21, 2008 at 10:51 pm | Reply

HAHAHA i’m sorry, i don’t mean to laugh but I can’t help it. The image of you doing a face plant just made my afternoon so much better.

I hate that type of girl too, I often get that, especially from one girl in the office. Why is it SO WRONG to be single?! This is THE time to be single and have fun. I will so help in the taking down of this girl.
Trigger | July 21, 2008 at 11:21 pm | Reply

Oh no! I have had those instant attitude adjustments from the universe before – the last time it happened to me, it involved a bird pooping on my hair about 10 seconds after I thought to myself “dang, my hair looks GREAT today.”

I got the message. Humility is good.

Your story makes me giggle. And also, a controlling relationship would SO not suit you. And who says you have to go to the Seychelles on a honeymoon, anyway?
BreatheWithMe | July 22, 2008 at 3:21 am | Reply

I think the thought, �I am awesome� must have passed my mind a couple of times. I love this line…despite you falling on your face I think you need to tell yourself that you are awesome from time to time. We all deserve to feel like we are awesome!! :)

I think your trainee needs a swift kick in the behind with her behavior! She’ll be the one quiet sorry when her fairy tale of engagement and and fancy wedding are over and all she has a jealous guy that won’t let her leave the house because he doesn’t trust her and is insecure…

and you know what you’ll have? your awesome-single-free-as-a-bird self!
utopia | July 22, 2008 at 8:30 am | Reply

heheheh! whats with committed women feeling bad for the single ones. does it really matter as long as one is happy?
and i’d hate to be with someone with whom i cannot speak my mind out.
pin | July 22, 2008 at 11:15 am | Reply

until the idea (blah blah blah) plops out of her head….???
perfect!
‘plops out’ is my new thing then!!!
and by the way as i am sure we all can count million reasons on ‘why is good to be in a relationship’, there are also another million on ‘why its fabulous to be single’!!
i guess the best thing is to be in a relationship but being able to have your ‘single’ days once in while….and by that i mean you know being able to have fun with your girls drinking and laughing and watching tv series without having that girl’s man attitude waiting for you at home!!!
so lets wish her all the best luck in the world but lets wish better luck to us all!!!
Queen | July 22, 2008 at 11:24 am | Reply

you gotta be kidding me :)
lol that must have been a show and a half. how in heavens name do you manage to do things like this i wonder :)
as far as the girlie you work with, does she live on the same planet as we do? how old is she?
you do realise what her marriage is going to be like with this man right? a million times single my friend, po po po.
Jamie | July 22, 2008 at 10:18 pm | Reply

I agree. You’re life is a movie!
freckledk | July 22, 2008 at 11:23 pm | Reply

Uh, aren’t you in your mid-20s? If she prematurely ages you again, I’m flying to Greece to smack a bitch.
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So very Sex and the City-ish

19 Responses to So very Sex and the City-ish

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