With both feet on the ground
24 Jun
I used to be a huge fan of Susan Miller.
Most of the time, she would be eerily accurate (in a fun way) that for almost two years the first thing I would do on the first of the month is check out her predictions. This amused me until last January when I read something along the following lines.
‘On January 20th’, she wrote, ‘you will meet the love of your life.’
I usually do not pay attention to such grandiose statements, but her specificity impressed me so much that the date was etched into my mind. So when The Man asked to see me on that Sunday, ON THAT EXACT DATE, I was convinced that he was ‘the love’ that Susan had been alluding to in her January forecast.
The 20th came bright and blistery. And by the end of it, I was in his flat fawning over declarations of desire and thinking, “That Susan Miller is a bloody genius.”
But February arrived and The Man left. March followed quickly, just as bright but not quite as blistery, and before I knew it it was the 30th and I had not heard from him in far too long. Far too long for him to be the love of January let alone my life.
Susan Miller began to lose her balance on the soaring pedestal I had placed her–and ironically him–on.
***
“I haven’t seen you in ages.” Real had said.
“Yea, it has been a long time.” I had answered.
“It must be about a month.”
“Something like that.”
As I thought about it later, I knew exactly–even to the precise minute if I were actually neurotic enough to do the calculations–how long it had been.
On the day that Susan had predicted I would meet the love of my life? On that exact day while I was waiting for The Man to join me? It was on that day that I met Real.
January 20th.
The love of my life.
Excuse me while I scoff.
***
Susan Miller might be a genius but I am definitely not her groupie any longer. For when I discovered the apparent ‘love of my life’ turned out to have a girlfriend? Well then, she toppled over head first off that pedestal. Or maybe she was pushed. Whose to say? I honestly wasn’t there.
But old habits die hard. Especially when it comes to romantic forecasts and crushes that keep pestering you in your dreams AND who also ask to go out for drinks with you ‘midweek’.
Thus, after a much needed astrological hiatus I went back to Susan and this is what she had to say:
“Watch Wednesday, June 25, when there will be a lovely cooperation between the Sun and Saturn in the heavens. The Sun rules your solar fifth house of true love, and Saturn’s job is to stabilize and actualize what it touches. Saturn will teach you to be practical too, and by that I mean to keep your feet well planted on the floor, which is helpful for starting or keeping a long-term relationship.”
Which–much to my surprise–is quite similar to what my therapist had recommended earlier that day when I barged into her office, all jittery, and very nearly screeched, “Real is going to call me this week for us to go for drinks and you need to tell me what to do!”
After discussing it for quite some time, a plan was formulated. Not an evil plan of how I will get him to dump the British Chippie and DATE ME DATE ME DATE ME, but how to protect myself from a man who could potentially, probably, most likely kick me when I am already down.
In actuality, the plan we devised protects me from the person who consistently hurts me the most.
Myself.
***
All that remains is for him to follow through and then when he is sitting across of me I get to ask the following question as casually as I can muster,
“Are you still with your girlfriend?”
And then? If he replies ‘Yes’ or gives me a ‘Yes, but…’ answer yet asks to see me again I get to say the following,
“I really like you. But you have a girlfriend. If you’re ever single I’d love to go out with you again.”
THEN I HAVE TO FOLLOW THROUGH WITH THAT.
And since both Susan and my therapist are in perfect accordance, I think I will take heed and keep both feet on the ground.
So on Wednesday, on the day where there is lovely cooperation in my house of true love AND on the day that Real may call, I have already made plans to spend the evening with my girlfriends.
Because as much as I want the stars to be right? That on January 20th I may have met the love of my life?
I think the love of my life? My house of true love? I think that I would be much better off believing that that is me.
It is you! The love of your life is you! It is a hard relationship to maintain…but your effort is glorious!
Wouldn’t it be better to ask about the girlfriend when he calls, and not when he is already sitting across from you?
Also…
Go Liverpool!
amen.
i think you have way more strength than i do. and that you should TOTALLY listen to this particular instict and stand for you rather than let another person walk all over hope.
goodluck. let’s hope he says no :)
but if he doesn’t… keep your feet firmly on the ground.
Not to get all philosophical, but loving oneself is key to many other possibilities, don’t you think?
You seem to be turning a corner her. You’re taking care of you! That’s good. I hope you’re feeling happier. :)
I really hope you can stick to your guns on this one. Good luck! :)
Stay strong, girl! Good luck with him…
you were always wise.
well, at least wiser than me.
now you are seriously becoming wiser and wiser…
at the end of the day all we have is ourselves and the hope that the wisdom of the day will become our way of living….but…does it ever????
i think it does.seriously.
Sounds like you’re coming back around a bit. So glad!! And that’s good advice from Susan AND your therapist…
(Also, I always take SM with a grain of salt… according to her I should totally be in the early throes of everlasting love… and all I got was a sweaty evening with a Russian who never called. :P )