On the night before

Posted on January 5, 2008 by Eleni Zoe| 10 Comments

It has been arranged.

Not confirmed. Casually planned.

Initiated by him. Ever so casually accepted by me.

The nervousness comes in spurts.

Outfit nearly decided upon.

Eyebrows neatly tweezed.

Conversation fillers fill my head.

Four weeks to go fills my heart.

“What the hell am I doing?” echoes along each corridor of thought I have of him:

His touch on my waist as he tried to get by me last night. His breath grazing my ear as he whispered that he was sorry he could not participate in what has by now become an all too familiar game of texting while he works. “I’m really, really sorry. I just don’t have any time”. The burn of my flushed cheeks as he attempted to remove the straw that had lodged itself in my hair. My hand knocking his away in utter embarrassment. The giggle in his eyes as I refused to look at him.

The nervousness comes in spurts.

Outfit not nearly perfect enough.

Eyebrows do not look symmetrical.

Conversation fillers fill my head with doubt. “What if we don’t have anything to talk about?”

Four weeks to go fill my heart with a fear.

“What the hell am I doing? echoes along each corridor of thought I have of him.

I am scared.

I am calm.

I’m ready.

I know we’ll just get on.

I hope we do.

I hope we don’t.

Dear readers, I’m not ready

For this.

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10 Responses to On the night before

  1. OC | January 6, 2008 at 1:51 am | Reply

    You are ready. You’ve been ready. If it works, it’ll just be natural. You’ll be nervous but it will just melt away and the time will pass in a flash.

    Good luck. I’m crossing my fingers for you and I can’t wait to hear how it goes!

  2. Kristin | January 6, 2008 at 2:15 am | Reply

    just remember to breathe. you’re so so ready. i can’t wait to hear all about it! :)

  4. brandy | January 6, 2008 at 9:30 am | Reply

    You ARE ready. Good luck!! :)

  5. Debbie | January 6, 2008 at 6:44 pm | Reply

    Hope, have a great time! I’m sure you will.

    xx

  6. Trigger | January 6, 2008 at 8:15 pm | Reply

    Everyone’s right, you’re ready. And well written!

    The thing of it is, bad dates are REALLY hard to come by. I mean, there are plenty of mediocre ones that are enjoyable enough. But to be a really bad date, someone’s gotta do some ridiculous stuff. And I highly doubt that you or The Man will make it a bad date.

    That said, if it’s just a mediocre date – well then, you can decide from there – sometimes when people are really nervous, mediocre dates happen. But then subsequent dates can get better.

    And if it’s an AWESOME date? Which, if you want my two cents, I bet it will be? Well, an awesome date is something to cherish. Good luck! Enjoy! Can’t wait to hear about it!

  7. Stephanie | January 6, 2008 at 9:08 pm | Reply

    Oh Hope, my dear. You ARE ready! You have been waiting for this day and you are ready.

    I can’t wait to hear all about it!

    xoxo

  8. Chelsea Talks Smack | January 6, 2008 at 10:49 pm | Reply

    No one is ever “ready”….ready is a word we wait for. Sometimes you just have to say f*ck it. Sometimes through the imperfections of something you see someone real charm….we can always be more ready….so go, have fun :)

  9. Princess Pointful | January 8, 2008 at 7:31 pm | Reply

    Eek!
    I made myself read this one before the one above…
    Excited to find out what happened!

  10. Ysabella | June 3, 2011 at 12:12 am | Reply

    You are so ready! :) I can’t wait to see how it went.

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