Self-control
30 Dec
The Man had just bought us a round of shots. My second in under 30 minutes. The third one, half an hour later, goes straight to my head.
I am perched on a bar stool, my arms stretched out to the other end of the bar where he is pouring a glass of beer. I am fiddling with an empty box of matches. I am sliding it open and shut. He looks down at my hands. I look down and back at him. He looks at me and back down to my hands.
I slide the matchbox back open. Without thinking I say, “See this? This is what you gave me.” He, of course, is confused. “I gave you an empty box of matches?”
“No” I look at him with meaning and repeat. “Look at what’s inside. This is what you gave me.” He looks down.
There is nothing there.
His hand grabs about 15 matchboxes from the stash and he lets them fall in front of me covering my hands. I giggle with, what can only be described as, glee and throw a couple back at him. “That’s not what I meant.”
“I know what you meant.” he says. He continues, “I’m sorry.” I look into his eyes. He really is. I am just not certain of the reasoning behind it. Is he saying “I’m sorry. I’m just not interested in you in that way?” Is he saying, “I’m sorry. I was going to call, I’m just being Australian about it all?”*
“Oh please!” I say, as if it doesn’t make a difference to my life either way. “Sorry about what? There’s nothing to be sorry about.”
He is called away and the conversation is interrupted. I turn my back to the bar and join the conversation my friends are having. Not one minutes later, I see my mobile phone light up indicating I have received a message.
I ignore it. But, I just know. I exercise some self-control.
I ignore it some more. I ignore this unread message for a full twenty minutes. I am Queen of Self-Control.
Finally, I pick up my mobile phone and select the read new message option.
Would you like another glass of water?
Involuntarily, a huge grin spreads across my face.
I write back.
I’ll let you know in a week ;)
Suffice it to say, the rest of the night? The water? It just appears in front of me. The rest of the night? The looks? Exchanged at every stolen moment we can find. The rest of the night? The conversation? Comfortable, a little more intimate, playful.
The goodnight at 3 a.m is awkward. He can’t look at me, instead he focuses on my friend. I react on that and mumble a quick bye.
When I arrive home I realize that I have already used all my alloted self-control for the day.
So, I text him.
A week is too long to wait for a response, I’m not as mean as you. As you’ve provided me with enough water to last me a lifetime, let’s just call it a tie. Then again, I did have to guilt you into sending me one little message. So, I guess you’re still winning?
I’m sorry. The self-control? It had run out. I cannot be held accountable for the content of that message.
He replies.
[Private joke, private joke] I’ll make it up to you. Can’t have you losing…
See the thing with self-control? Is that sometimes?
It’s overrated.
(*Thanks again for your comment, Debbie. It has changed my perception and interpretation of his behaviour completely. Also, I heart you because you spelt ‘behaviour’ the correct way ;))
Congrats to you for losing the self-control and just putting it all out there! It sounds like it paid off… keep us posted! Happy New Year!
I’m so glad you called him out on it. Keep us all posted! And have a wonderful new year!
when it comes to text messages and flirting and cute boys, I can never have any self control. Glad this one worked out! And private jokes already? oh la la mon amie!
really.. what a perfect night. and how right debbie is. we rush things for no apparent reason. it’s the game that can be so much fun on its own.
oooooh well played.
And what a charmer!
Hope, I’m so happy for you – it definitely sounds like things are moving in the right direction!! This post made me smile, and I’m still smiling hours after first reading it! Can I just say – he likes you! he likes you! he likes you! (picture a kind of happy dance thing) Happy New Year xx
nice!! way to get in a last word there :) and um, yah. he likes you.
glad you finally got your response!
next time he better not wait a week ;)
Nice one, girl!! The direct approach is the key some times.
Yeah, he likes you. Now let’s see if he knows what to do with it!!
Yes yes yesss! I’ve missed your stories over the holidays and am just catching up now. SO EXCITED to hear more!
And? He is definitely into you.
Self-c0ntrol and spite have teamed up to keep me out of many a relationship.
Bastards.
Boys — the only thing they’re good at is frustrating us!
Hopefully he’ll get the picture and stop with the games. Making girls wait never pays off because we always call them out on their crap. :)
Oh my god, wow, you totally called him out on it! You’ve got balls, girl. At least in my opinion. Can’t wait for the next update!