A week ago, during my annual visit to the ladies doctor, I was asked about my sexual activity. “None” I said taking a deep breath then added tensely, “Unfortunately.” With wisdom beyond her years she said, “Sometimes we all need some time alone”. For no good reason, I exhaled.
…
A couple of nights ago while standing at my kitchen sink washing dishes, an overwhelming sense of loneliness enveloped me. It came out of nowhere. One minute I was scrubbing with force–indifferent–and the next minute I was immobile and sad. I closed my eyes for just a second, took a deep breath and continued. But in that second, in the stillness, in that darkness of blinking I imagined a pair of arms hugging me from behind. And I exhaled.
…
This morning, my dentist asked, “Are you married yet?” “Uh uh” I said indicating no with a wave of my hand. “Close to?” “Uh uh” I repeated. “Boyfriend?” “Uh uh”. Then, he rubbed the tip of my nose with his surgeon’s glove and said, “Something must be wrong with men.” “Uh huh!” I nodded vigorously. Then he blew a gush of air into my nostil and said, “Did you know if you blow air into a horse’s nose, it’ll love you forever?” I imagined walking up to an unsuspecting male suitor and blowing softly into his nose. Smiling, I exhaled.
…
A few hours ago–stuck in traffic–my sister and I watched as a boy and a girl kissed each other goodbye. The boy was trying to get into the taxi in front of us but every time he opened the door to get in, she would give him another kiss. “Stop kiiiiissing!” I yelled. “Aw, don’t be bitter” my sister said, “they’re so cute.” I pulled a face at her and grumpily whined ‘Whatever’. I felt her gaze land on me and as I turned and our eyes met, we both burst out laughing. And I exhaled.
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This is a lovely post. It even makes me miss those kind of self-affirming moments of singledom.
Carry on!
Ok, since you know my theory on couples walking/kissing/making out in front of you on a busy day i suppose this won’t surprise you:
Why didn’t you simply run over them?
and 2nd: can I have your dentist’s number?
hehe. cute post!
oh man hope get your hands on “better single than sorry” — soooo eye-opening!
Great post!
And lady doctors are nosy.
I get this. Oh dear LORD I get this. And it’s not true about the horses… at least I haven’t found that. They do like molasses though. So if you ever need a little horse love (that sounds weird), dump some on your hand and let them lick it off. It sounds so gross but it feels kinda cool.
I love it when you get that instant out of the blue emotion grip you for a second type moment. I don’t get it washing the dishes, but I get it. Great post.
Your dentist blew air up your nose? Now you’re gonna love him forever!
(PS the love mix is up for download now!)
i really enjoyed this post. :)
What a lovely post! This was truly fantastic, both the subject matter and the way you wrote it. You have true talent in story-telling =)
your post is really refreshing and truthful. Fate has a way of working magic. I met my husband totally when I was not aware nor wanting any relationship. It happens. Keep breathing.
Beautifully written. Tugged at my heart.
I’m glad you enjoyed Murakami’s story. It’s one of my favorites. I think you’ll love him. :)
Sometimes, it’s the little things. Like breathing. And being a smidge bitter when you see that ridiculous couple…Good for you, you’re a strong woman.
Mmm, this post was really relaxing. Exhale- that’s such an amazing mantra
I think we are alone all the time, sometimes not being in a relationship makes that more apparent, although many people feel lonely even when they are with someone. Your post got me thinking that instead of trying to hide loneliness we need to learn to live with feelings of loneliness and be able to welcome the times when sharing moments and experiences with other people make it go away for a bit.
Glad that you remember to breathe when it matters :)
I thought I had commented on here the other day when I first read this, damn!
I really enjoyed this. You’re a wonderful writer, you know that?
Hope – I tagged you for a fun meme!
http://tbflove.blogspot.com/2007/11/musical-meme-aka-caring-is-creepy.html
I always over-analyze things, especially the fact that as many people as I’ve met, I still feel like I don’t really have any friends. Perhaps the breathing method will calm me down more, make me less anxiety-ridden.